I hate how political things become in law school. I’ve become scrappy, and while it is a nice change, it makes me nervous. I don’t do well biting my tongue.
So I’ve been working for a Judge this semester, a female Judge with an all female staff. There are two externs: myself and another 2L John. The two of us are basically competing for a clerkship here as this Judge only hires from her extern pool. And I have the feeling that I lost that clerkship opportunity even before I began working here. Why? John is nice to look at. Seriously.
So while I continue to get a great deal of criticism over my hard work (work that I receive no guidance on whatsoever) all I hear about is how funny John is.
And then there is the part about John having worked as a paralegal for years before law school, so again I feel like I am at the bottom. That I would be considered the “scraping the bottom of the barrel” if hired.
This whole experience actually made me want to extern for men so that I could bank off my sexuality. And then I got mad at myself for thinking that. I’m beginning to dislike the “hiring” world. I’m beginning to hate the fact that being a woman complicates everything.