classroom hours = 15

work hours = 30

study hours = 15 (at least)

law review hours = 3

extracurricular crap to add to the resume = 4

responding to e-mail = 2

Advice?   Learn to appreciate the phrase “it is what it is” because it is exactly that.

I’ve been missing in action here for way too long.  Why? Time and life.  So, please allow me to catch you up on all things Kel.  You may want to sit down, or scroll down to the end.

In March I starting to realize that my relationship with J wasn’t what I wanted.  After some soul searching and a Barrister’s Ball gone wrong J broke up with me.  He accused me to cheating on him, even though I never did and never would have.  So I moved out and in with a classmate.  Then I moved out of her place and in with another classmate where I am at now, currently lying on the floor staring at the ceiling and typing this as soon as it comes to mind.  Writing has always freed me.

It’s not easy ending a four year relationship.  And it definitely isn’t easy learning that the man you’re with, that you were engaged to, is no longer the man you want to be with and no longer a good fit for you.  He won’t talk to me.  And there are days when I miss our friendship so much I silently cry.

Then, because I’m not the sharpest knife in the block, I started a relationship with someone else who was also completely wrong for me.  But he taught me a lot about myself and I am grateful for that and ready to move on.

In between I’ve worked for two law firms, one of which I’m still working for, and began my last year in law chool.

People say that law school sucks the life out of you.  I believe this is true.  I no longer am the person I was five years ago.  My brother even told me that my hippie status had been revoked.  So, I’m back to writing.  Maybe it will bring me back to me.

So while I continue to get a great deal of criticism over my hard work (work that I receive no guidance on whatsoever) all I hear about is how funny John is.

And then there is the part about John having worked as a paralegal for years before law school, so again I feel like I am at the bottom.  That I would be considered the “scraping the bottom of the barrel” if hired.

This whole experience actually made me want to extern for men so that I could bank off my sexuality.  And then I got mad at myself for thinking that.  I’m beginning to dislike the “hiring” world.  I’m beginning to hate the fact that being a woman complicates everything.

I blame the leadership.

First of all I attend a state publicly funded law school.

Second, this school has several clinic programs, law review, and an invitation only moot court program.

My frustration lies in the fact that I’ve heard or have been told that each of these programs tries to balance between the number of men and women.  Specifically, that men are chosen over more qualified women because men have to be represented.  Excuse me?

I have a male friend who was specifically told that he was chosen for a sought after clinic position because they needed men.

I also have a male friend who was specifically told that he was chosen for the moot court program because men needed to be represented.

It’s also time for law review positions and a male friend of mine was told he would be guaranteed a position because men rarely apply and need representation.  Excuse me?  I worked my ass off to get to this point.  I’m already underrepresented in law school and now my school is denying opportunities to women because we’re more qualified or too many of us apply?

I find this very disturbing yet I’m not in a position where I can confirm it.  If men don’t want the positions why bother making sure they’re represented?  Ridiculous.  Absolutely stupid!

The Apple techs must like easy streamlined work because they couldn’t pull the data off my old computer and transfer it.  So I asked for a refund went over to a computer store, purchased the device I needed for  $25 and have been pulling the data off myself.  It’s not hard to do, it just takes some time.  And now I have to organize it all on the new Mac.

So far, the PC to Mac switch has been extremely easy.  And fun.

Now I just need recommendations for what or how I should organize my law class notes.

Or just cool Mac tips in general.

Oh to be a courageous woman.

I’m thinking London, because to me it’s the most romantic city I’ve been to. And J could improve in that area considering his idea of romance is watching documentaries and interpreting financial reports. Oh well…